the little things

i keep making a mental list of all the things i don't want to forget about kian these days. he's almost 20 months old now and he's growing and learning new things every day.
- he still loves to play with balls. he kicks it and screams GOOOOL! sometimes grabbing his shirt like the soccer players do to celebrate a goal (his cousins taught him to do that). he sees a soccer game on the TV and he screams gol too.
- he loves to play with paul's ipad and now he thinks that any screen is a touchscreen. sometimes even books. there's a game where he has to flick a ball, so when he sees a ball in a book, he flicks it.
- he loves to read books together and can spend a good half an hour looking at books and pointing at everything so i name whatever he's pointing at.
- he has a fascination with the moon, and it's one of the few words he says all the time "noon". he looks for the moon in books and when we are drawing he asks me to draw a moon. any circular or semi circular shape is a moon to him, even the smile in smiley faces is a moon.
- he's a pretty good eater most days but somedays he's not interested in food. he loves raisins, bananas, rice, quinua...
- he can point to his nose, ears, eyes, mouth, hair, feet, hands and belly, when asked to, in both english and spanish.
- he likes to clean up after himself, when he spills his drink, he gets a rag to clean it.
- he recognizes the sound of an airplane and points to the sky when he hears it.
- he can do some animal sounds... cow, duck, rooster, monkey, elephant. he recognizes a lot of animals in pictures.
- he doesn't mind giving kisses to people (although he just puts his lips on their cheek without making any sound or he puts his cheek against their lips)
- he likes to say "knock knock" and knock on whatever is next to him, or on himself.
- he likes to brush his teeth.
- when we go to sleep i say two prayers, one in english and one in spanish, always the same two, and when i'm done i say good night and he leans over to kiss me.

still here

the little baby that came out of me more than a year ago is pretty much all gone... in his place there's a little boy walking around the house, blabbering and making us laugh. at times i catch a glimpse of the little baby that he once was, i watch him sleep and remember the days when he still fit perfectly cradled between my arms. it's amazing to think that he was once inside of me, that my heartbeat was probably his first lullaby.
i get frustrated sometimes because he can be a little too determined (some people would say stubborn) but i still think he's the sweetest little boy in the world. when i ask him for a kiss he leans over and puts his cheek on my lips. or his eyes. or his forehead. he loves cuddles and hugs but he also loves to walk freely and without holding my hand.
the little boy has a sense of humor of his own. the other day he was eating a cracker and paul asked him for a little piece. he would put the cracker right next to paul's mouth and when paul would go to take a bite, he would take it away quickly and start laughing. cracked us up.
during the week i go to work at 6:45 am and paul stays with kian. i'm told they usually wake up around 7, have breakfast, play, take a shower and around 9 paul drops him off at doña fatima's place, she lives across the street from my work, she loves kian, and he loves her so it works out great. around 12 or 1 i pick him up. some days we go to have lunch at paul's restaurant and then he gives us a ride home where we spend the rest of the afternoon playing around. some days we come straight home, go shopping or somewhere else and then at night we go pick up paul from work. kian loves to go out and be with other people. when he's tired he only wants us, but he's usually very friendly. paul is finally doing what he's always wanted, and in the meantime learning more about himself and what he wants to do in the future. i miss having him at home during the day but i'm happy he's happy and doing what he loves.
kian's all time favorite toy is (still) a ball, any ball. he sees a ball and immediately goes to grab it, throw it around, kick it around. makes his dad very proud. those two love each other and that love is probably the sweetest thing i've ever witnessed. makes me fall in love all over again. everyday. like lucy in 50 first dates.

alicia keys

lei just sent me a link to alicia keys' blog and even though i've always loved her, reading this made me love her more!... she wrote...

"Every moment is beautiful; delicious even! Every moment I'm learning and living in a way I never have before. Being present in a way I never have before. Existing in moments I never have before.
Never have I felt so calm, so purposeful in taking the time to truly observe the world around me, to live in it fully and watch it, discuss it, put time toward it. It feels really incredible - so peaceful, so complete and long overdue.
I'm grown, I'm confident, I'm secure, and so blessed to be these things.
I'm most enamored with anatomy at this point. The miracle of the human body. The ability to create all these small amazing machines of veins, capillaries, digestive systems, eyes, ears and noses. I can spend HOURS looking at one little EAR! Have u ever noticed how complex just an ear is? A tiny maze of art. It may sound silly but it's so true. Or a heartbeat? Everyday we wake up and in some way, take for granted the fact that this beautiful pulsating organ in our body is the reason, and yet now that's all I can think of...
And breath; invisible as it may be, how necessary!
Ain't it true that things we really can't see are of the greatest importance?
I've never seen a more beautiful face in my LIFE! The most perfect eyes and beautiful nose, the sweetest lips and skin so soft and kissable!
Never have I felt such disbelief, such awe, humility, godliness, such strength, power and possibility.
I've never believed in greatness and the never ending Higher Power more than now!
And I can't believe he's mine!"

Sunday pictures

Sunday was spent playing on the grass
sitting on the grass
eating the grass
being really cute (on the grass)
meeting new creatures
touching them
following them around
LOVING the turtles... not so much the rabbits
until realizing how soft they are


Little Kian is not so little anymore.

Dear Kian, last week you turned 10 months old. 10 is such a big number. and it's so close to 12. 
i'm not sad about you growing so fast, i'm amazed, surprised sometimes. but i'm not sad. and i'm not scared either. i love watching you grow. 
you have such an awesome personality. you're calm and content most of the day, but you also know how to let us know when you're not happy about something. when something doesn't go your way you throw your arms up and down but you're also very easily entertained and we can make you forget what you wanted on the first place just by showing you a toy or trying to tickle you. you're so ticklish. under the chin and neck are the best spots to make you laugh.
another thing about your personality that i love is how serious you get sometimes. and you give this look that is so grown up, so mature. and i can imagine you in 20 years giving me that very same look.
i love how curious you are. and i know all babies are curious by nature but i love watching you explore things, touch them, analyze them... i love how you tilt your head to the side or how you turn your head when you're following something or someone with your eyes. 

you're getting into everything these days and it's getting a little hard to keep up with you but i think you understand the meaning of "no". i just can't wait for the day that you stop putting everything you find in your mouth. 

10 months came with new teeth and new moves, you recently started to pull yourself up and dancing to music, you're also crawling with your stomach off the floor (although i loved your army crawl, your clothes don't get so dirty anymore).

this month also came with a big change, you suddenly stopped breastfeeding. and it was pretty clear that you wanted to stop. and you know, it was so easy and natural how it all happened from the beginning that it also had to end like that. 
kian, you're so much work but you're so much fun, and love, and laughs, and cuddles, and smiles, and happiness. 

i love you more every day.
desde que empezó a gatear si nos distraemos desaparece...




Hace unos días empezó a levantarse solito...




and he does this really funny laugh that sounds like a dolphin...



me encanta cuando los bebés descubren como usar sus dedos y señalan o tocan todo con un dedito.




so sleepy...

last night was the longest night EVER. before the first 2 teeth cut through (a couple of months ago) kian was a little fussy but it wasn't a big deal. now he's getting his top front teeth and he's in PAIN. last night he kept waking up crying and screaming... poor baby. paul and kian are taking a nap now... i need one too!